I frogged the entire thing, and completely redesigned it. Now, it's normal length instead of hip-length, stockinette stitch instead of cables, no color work, with big coconut shell buttons; it's asymmetrical and the collar is a mashup of shawl and cowl. I love it. There is only one problem.
I didn't really plan much before I started knitting, and once I got to the collar, I made it up as I went along. Consequently, the button placement isn't quite right. The top one is fine, but the bottom one is much too low. And I only realized this after weaving in ends and grafting the underarms and after (of course) binding off.
I really don't want to frog this, again, even though it would technically be the first time for this specific sweater. I love the design but I really really don't want to remake it. I can't just leave it, because it doesn't hang right. At least, as far as I can tell it doesn't. Blocking will help, but it won't be enough.
Driving home from work tonight, I had an idea. I could put a small button on the WS right front, and add a loop to the WS left front; similar to how some pants have a "hidden" button near the fly to keep the crotch crease-less. Or the same concept, but with ties? Must research...